Why China Waiting Child (special needs) adoption?

As we started researching how to adopt, we realized this was much more complicated than we had anticipated, and were overwhelmed by all the choices that needed to be made before we could even start!

The first big choice was whether to adopt in the US or internationally.  US options included infant adoption (working with a birth-mother in a difficult situation, either locally or interstate), foster-care (adopting through the state system, either older kids where the parents' right have been terminated or younger kids who may end up going back to their families), or embryo adoption (frozen embryos left over from in-vitro procedures, where the parents are looking to donate them to other couples).  Internationally, the situation varied for every country, with different requirements and procedures, and different categories of kids available (mostly older or with diagnosed medical conditions). There was a period last spring when we nearly gave up, as we couldn't discern a clear path forward, and the whole process just seemed overwhelming.  Plus Gabriel's freelance work had dwindled and he had been looking for a job for many months, and a stable job situation was one of the requirements to get approved to adopt (and necessary to pay the many expenses involved)... 


But by the summer things began falling into place.  A pastor friend (who had adopted) encouraged us to persevere and gave us good advice on how to think through the choices.  Then Gabriel started a new job which turned out to be a great fit.  And gradually one particular adoption path became clearer.  As we had been praying for guidance and exploring various options, the "China Waiting Child" program kept coming up as a possibility, and started to make more sense than the alternatives:
- We met all the requirements, which was not the case for all countries
- The children available tend to be younger (1-3 years old), and we want to adopt a child younger than our now 3 year old
- The process is relatively stable and predictable, which was a big concern with the US and several other countries' programs

- On the China side, the process is expedited for children labeled as "special needs" ("waiting child" is the term they use), so it's typically takes about 12-18 months from start to finish, which was much shorter than other programs we looked into
- For “special needs” children, China does not simply assign them to prospective adoptive families,but sends their files to adoption agencies (or to a central database that agencies have access to), who then try to match each child to a family who is open to the particular circumstances.  The family then has a chance to review the file (and seek medical consultation) before saying yes or no.  If yes, then they make a formal request to China to adopt the particular child.  If no, the agency works with them to understand what was the problem with this match and then tries again… This is an approach we’re more comfortable with than many of the other programs.
-Ultimately, we started sensing that this is what God wanted us to do.

Initially, our biggest hesitation about this program was the "special needs" label: when we started our adoption journey, we were not looking for a child with "problems".  In fact, like most people, we started out thinking of a healthy baby (that perhaps even looked like us).  But as we researched who needed adopting, we found that was not where the need was...

We came to realize that the circumstances that result in a child needing to be adopted are always painful and difficult.  In the best case scenario, a child grows up with their parents, who love and care for them.  The fact that a child is “available for adoption” means that something has gone terribly wrong.  These difficult circumstances are very often associated with some level of physical, mental and/or emotional problems (either as a cause or a consequence of the child leaving their family).  So most kids that need a family are dealing with challenges. As we researched the options, the Lord gradually opened our hearts to consider a child with extra challenges.

When we decided on the China program, we spent a lot of time researching the possible medical conditions and determining which ones we think we can handle.  The types of things we decided to check off on our "Medical Conditions Checklist" are considered more minor, but are enough to cause a child to be considered "unadoptable" in a country like China (things like deformed hands, club feet, a large birthmark, minor heart condition...).  By adopting one of these children, we can provide them an opportunity that they wouldn't have in their birth-country, to grow up in a family, to be loved and valued for who they are, and with hope to lead a full and productive life.